tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354499542012-01-18T19:53:16.766-08:00A lot of comedians dream of writing for the Tonight Show. I'm one of them.Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.comBlogger12811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-90379935552723319652011-08-16T15:22:00.000-07:002011-08-16T15:25:24.701-07:00

In a recent op-ed piece, billionaire Warren Buffett said that ultra-rich people like himself should contribute more tax money to the U.S. Government. Not shown: Gun to Buffett's head preventing him from voluntarily writing check made out to U.S. Government.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-33780727550173092932011-08-10T10:17:00.000-07:002011-08-10T10:19:50.925-07:00

Tilda Swinton signs 4-year, $60 million deal with Yankees.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-46769049828387959652011-07-29T10:54:00.000-07:002011-07-29T10:57:07.469-07:00

Arnold Schwarzenegger indicated in a court filing that he does not want to pay wife Maria Shriver spousal support or attorney fees as the couple ends their 25-year marriage. In a separate filing, Shriver indicated she did not want Schwarzenegger to fuck the maid.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-87943163385031046312011-07-29T10:42:00.000-07:002011-07-29T10:47:25.042-07:00

Alex Trebek fell and snapped his Achilles tendon after chasing a burglar from his hotel room in San Francisco. What is 'sounds like a gay prostitute rolled him and this is a cover-up' for $600, Alex?

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-21295080232306124182011-07-29T10:28:00.000-07:002011-07-29T10:42:02.202-07:00

A food booth in Syracuse will unveil the 1500 calorie "Big Kahuna Donut Burger" at this year's New York State Fair. In rural New York, the donut is only for people on a diet.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-83261987730790712302011-07-14T10:45:00.000-07:002011-07-14T10:48:21.758-07:00

Authorities say that when a Pennsylvania woman complained that her songwriter boyfriend had never written a song about her, he choked her and hit her in the face. The couple then broke into a rendition of 'Proud Mary.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-52411193268483541552011-07-14T10:43:00.000-07:002011-07-14T10:45:30.601-07:00

Potatoes that spilled from a tractor-trailer after a crash with a freight train are now being used to feed needy families in Delaware. In Delaware, it is 1840's Ireland.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-83445199124207892912011-07-14T10:38:00.000-07:002011-07-14T10:43:16.371-07:00

Taco Bell employees in suburban Cleveland told police that a group tried to make off with a painting valued at $157 that was hanging on a wall in the fast-food joint. The painting was a Jackson Pollack that depicted a toilet bowl after eating a chalupa.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-9494496170083204602011-07-07T15:02:00.000-07:002011-07-07T15:05:17.437-07:00

President Obama will engage in one of the country’s most sacred ceremonies on Tuesday when he awards the Medal of Honor to a living soldier, Army Sergeant First Class Leroy Arthur Petry. Obama said he is already looking forward to mispronouncing the Sergeant's name.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-91684490041413498112011-07-07T15:00:00.000-07:002011-07-07T15:02:16.924-07:00

A western Arizona man has received a three-month sentence after authorities say he shot his Camaro because it wouldn't start and then refused to come out of his home. He spent the next three hours watching 'Dukes of Hazard' reruns and cursed the world for not being 1986.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-51266002972153304042011-06-17T09:17:00.000-07:002011-06-17T09:19:57.955-07:00

Tyler Seguin, the 19-year old Boston Bruins rookie, enjoys a couple of beers with the Stanley Cup at Tia's Restaurant in Boston on Thursday. On Friday, the restaurant lost its liquor license.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-39324850014989616742011-06-16T13:33:00.000-07:002011-06-16T13:38:26.588-07:00

US Representative Barney Frank, himself embroiled in a sex-related scandal more than 20 years ago, said today it would be “not appropriate for me” to say whether his Democratic colleague Anthony Weiner should resign from the House. Frank did add that Weiner had a nice cock.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-2009875748120079932011-06-16T13:27:00.000-07:002011-06-16T13:33:07.097-07:00

Thai police have found 1.13 million methamphetamine pills hidden in three cars they confiscated and held for more than a year. In order to speed up the process in the future, police will be using the confiscated product.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-35584465441932211442011-05-27T11:18:00.000-07:002011-05-27T11:21:30.055-07:00

Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank admitted that he helped get an ex-lover a lucrative job with Fannie Mae. “If it is (a conflict of interest), then much of Washington is involved (in conflicts),” Frank told the Boston Herald.I made none of that up.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-74540264214450376792011-05-27T11:13:00.000-07:002011-05-27T11:16:23.588-07:00

A representative for Amy Winehouse says the singer has checked into a treatment program in London. In other words, she is a dirty liar.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-56789664633486729762011-05-27T11:09:00.000-07:002011-05-27T11:13:17.353-07:00

Minutes before a midnight deadline, President Barack Obama signed into law a four-year extension of post-Sept. 11 'Patriot Act.' So, Hello U.S. Government! Hope you like the site.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-55864775045375143332011-05-27T11:07:00.000-07:002011-05-27T11:09:16.919-07:00

"Mr. President, Joe Biden may be your number two, but in the sack he's more like eight."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-39943740067924119342011-05-26T15:22:00.001-07:002011-05-26T15:25:25.949-07:00

Facebook 'inventor' Mark Zuckerberg has vowed to "only eat what he kills." His weekend dinner choices include lobster, venison, and the free time of every American under 25 years old.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-91598659772019521162011-05-17T13:47:00.000-07:002011-05-17T13:56:13.258-07:00

Celtics greats Bill Russell and Ray Allen will speak in front of President Obama in Boston's South End as part of a fundraiser on Wednesday. It marks the first time three black men will congregate in the same room in the South End without being questioned by Boston police.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-24697110278831837872011-05-13T15:50:00.001-07:002011-05-13T15:52:10.670-07:00

"I have seen President Obama in the shower and let's just say his charisma is the only thing he has in common with JFK."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-4968855822751298592011-04-25T10:45:00.000-07:002011-04-25T10:46:44.343-07:00

Two friends who hired a New York City cab driver to drive them across the United States for $5,000 have arrived in Los Angeles. Upon arrival their first statement was, "Recession my ass!"

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-23629766113278926642011-04-25T10:42:00.000-07:002011-04-25T10:44:47.979-07:00

Police say an elderly Pennsylvania couple was the unintended recipient of a very seedy delivery: a five-pound brick of marijuana. They soon became very big fans of the expression, "possession is 9/10 of the law."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-70246351765105130452011-04-22T15:37:00.001-07:002011-04-22T15:38:38.039-07:00

A man helped his wife give birth Thursday night at their Charlestown, MA home as an EMT coached them over the phone, an EMT spokesperson said. Ironically, the couple conceived the same way.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-45053446131160411792011-04-08T10:37:00.000-07:002011-04-08T10:41:45.773-07:00

Larry King's business portfolio is expanding from bagels to breath mints as the retired talk show host will be the spokesperson for BreathGemz. King fell in love with the product because it covers up the smell of formaldehyde and a rotting corpse.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-45045462840516553402011-04-08T10:36:00.001-07:002011-04-08T10:37:11.847-07:00

A duck is nesting in landscaping near a drive-thru menu at a Chick-fil-A in Audubon, NJ. It marks the first time that real fowl has been within 100 yards of a Chick-fil-A.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-14105329111330141632011-04-06T10:18:00.000-07:002011-04-06T10:20:25.632-07:00

Tax documents show unwed mother Bristol Palin earned more than $262,000 for her role in helping raise awareness for teen pregnancy prevention in 2009. Of that money, $262,000 was not spent on condoms.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-62952398353595283942011-04-06T10:14:00.000-07:002011-04-06T10:18:00.824-07:00

A Michigan couple is planning a truly long wedding march. Joseph Crist and Laura Brunett are going to walk some 2,500 miles to get to their wedding in Las Vegas this fall. They are able to spend three months walking to their wedding because, like most of Michigan, they are unemployed.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-3459178719576135502011-04-06T10:11:00.000-07:002011-04-06T10:14:25.993-07:00

An agreement has been reached to sell mixed drinks to fans at Fenway Park. Team officials hope this will allow bleacher fans to be belligerent by the fourth inning instead of the seventh.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-82633170627913968602011-04-04T11:30:00.000-07:002011-04-04T11:33:37.360-07:00

People in cities across the globe have taken part in mass pillow fights as part of International Pillow Fight Day on Sunday. The day also spontaneously became International Masturbate While Looking at Women Having Pillow Fights Day.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-13872984660056221182011-01-31T11:30:00.000-08:002011-01-31T11:33:41.628-08:00

First, a baby grand piano mysteriously showed up on a Miami sandbar. A day after it was removed, a small table with two chairs, place settings, a bottle of wine and a chef statue appeared on the now-famous strip of sand. Thursday is expected to bring the Statue of Liberty and a gaggle of apes.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-58297566105664677502011-01-27T11:15:00.000-08:002011-01-27T11:16:34.597-08:00

An investigation has been launched into an anonymous fax received Wednesday by state Sen. Leland Yee (D-San Francisco) that the lawmaker considers a death threat. Preliminary suspects are the years 1994 and 1996.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-65625393429334449062011-01-27T11:11:00.000-08:002011-01-27T11:12:26.387-08:00

A valuable pedigreed cat that went missing from its New Zealand home turned up two days later a little different -- it had been surgically castrated. Which is the opposite of how runaways usually return home.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-81717296922319530172011-01-27T11:06:00.000-08:002011-01-27T11:10:25.948-08:00

Tyler A. Bryan is a Boston-area taxi driver facing drunken driving charges after he allegedly drove into a snowbank in Boston's Brighton section during a recent snowstorm. It is crazy that a white taxi driver still exists.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-80826084819740211952011-01-13T10:55:00.000-08:002011-01-13T11:04:03.544-08:00

"I am so sorry for you loss... ooh, photo op at 7 o'clock."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-57783848419822610482011-01-13T10:54:00.000-08:002011-01-13T10:55:50.637-08:00

Conan O'Brien said the experience of losing the "Tonight" show left him and his staff feeling like a band of pirates that stuck together through hard times. And like the Pittsburgh Pirates, in last place.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-82267563669788381822011-01-12T11:23:00.000-08:002011-01-12T11:25:09.112-08:00

A month after surgery in Detroit for an undisclosed ailment, Aretha Franklin says her health is "superb." Aretha Franklin does not own a mirror or a scale.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-51927301579931702482011-01-12T11:17:00.000-08:002011-01-12T11:23:37.161-08:00

Actor Stephen Dorff has dedicated his performance in the movie 'Somewhere' to his late mother. Dorff hated his mother.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-37764933184840175982011-01-11T12:09:00.000-08:002011-01-11T12:12:23.311-08:00

Leaving the Red Sox has really taken its toll on former closer Keith Foulke.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-83010116954489903932011-01-10T11:51:00.000-08:002011-01-10T11:52:37.144-08:00

Declaring that the “American dream’’ is at stake, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick called on residents and their leaders yesterday to emulate sacrifices by previous generations and make the tough decisions necessary to leave the state in better shape for their children. He then cackled like a hyena and raised property taxes.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-27523938536275820222011-01-10T11:47:00.000-08:002011-01-10T11:50:44.915-08:00

Police arrested Dorothy Ingemi and Nicholas Matthews for advertising an apartment they didn't own and collected deposits from would-be tenants. The duo pleaded guilty to "doing exactly what real estate agents do."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-2366661745102946792011-01-06T11:38:00.001-08:002011-01-06T11:39:01.769-08:00

Two Brookline High School students are being held on bail after they allegedly posted comments on Facebook that they would meet at the school and commit a mass homicide. They were reportedly upset that their respective inheritances were only in the mid-six figures.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-61988640048435726022011-01-06T11:35:00.000-08:002011-01-06T11:36:43.750-08:00

Officials are investigating packages that exploded at the Maryland Department of Transportation's headquarters in Hanover and a state government building in Annapolis. Initial reports are that the packages had Taco Bell for lunch.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-9771784497207589072011-01-05T11:34:00.000-08:002011-01-05T11:36:49.710-08:00

A year after getting engaged, Dresden Doll Amanda Palmer and British writer and graphic novelist Neil Gaiman are married. This is the second marriage for Gaiman who hopes the nuptials will end speculation based on his last name.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-25159546082620547112011-01-05T11:24:00.000-08:002011-01-05T11:33:24.209-08:00

Late actor Dennis Hopper's extensive art collection, including a Warhol original, is up for auction and is expected to total near a million dollars. Most of the value comes from the cocaine residue left on many of the pieces.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-57286808719531602612011-01-04T10:11:00.000-08:002011-01-04T10:16:36.680-08:00

An Ohio man blamed "Ozzy Osbourne and his music" for the erratic driving that led him to receive a traffic ticket. One can only assume he was listening to 'I Don't Wanna Stop.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-71037981859007179172011-01-04T10:05:00.000-08:002011-01-04T10:11:23.310-08:00

A rare miniature cow with markings similar to a panda bear was born on a farm in northern Colorado. This comes several months after shreds of bamboo and blood-soaked milk were found in the farm's barn.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-40985730831643510272010-12-21T13:12:00.000-08:002010-12-21T13:15:05.605-08:00

Following the news of yet another actor injury occurring during a preview performance comes word that "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark" is postponing future performances in an effort to explore new safety measures for the show. Even worse, U2 is still doing the music.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-52309060509995065222010-12-21T13:08:00.000-08:002010-12-21T13:12:11.600-08:00

Hey dude on the right: Busted.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-46526591012534570012010-12-21T13:03:00.000-08:002010-12-21T13:08:26.407-08:00

At Prince's sold-out concert at Madison Square Garden, Spike Lee played the tambourine as Alicia Keys, Jamie Foxx, Professor Cornel West, talk-show host Tavis Smiley, and others danced onstage. The singer wanted to prove that black people also are uncoordinated.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-65452113160323410512010-12-21T13:02:00.000-08:002010-12-21T13:03:52.661-08:00

A dog in Germany has given birth to 17 puppies. Your move, Octomom.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-64743792544418527912010-12-08T10:33:00.000-08:002010-12-08T10:37:00.824-08:00

Oprah Winfrey told Barbara Walters that 'friend' Gayle King is "the mother I never had." Clearly, Winfrey has no idea how child birth works.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-35253078380408108092010-12-08T10:31:00.001-08:002010-12-08T10:33:19.537-08:00

Jane Fonda said in a recent interview that she is interested in starring in a cable television series. Unfortunately, female-driven shows like 'The Closer' call TNT home, which is owned by here ex-husband Ted Turner. In other words, no.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-58809881534978012532010-12-08T10:22:00.000-08:002010-12-08T10:25:43.096-08:00

The Massachusetts Governor's Council voted unanimously today to confirm Supreme Judicial Court Justice Roderick Ireland's nomination as chief justice of the state's highest court, making him the state's first chief black justice. It also marks the first time Ireland and black were uttered in the same sentence and it did not involve a hate crime or Phil Lynott.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-42937565500400740752010-12-02T14:19:00.001-08:002010-12-02T14:21:22.838-08:00

"If you want to crawl between this lady's legs... 11 inches minimum."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-90434622114734083002010-12-02T12:03:00.000-08:002010-12-02T12:04:19.641-08:00

Actress Uma Thurman is staying mum about the convicted stalker who was recently arrested on charges of trying to contact her again. Phone privileges have since been taken away from Quentin Tarantino.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-44716400756645873152010-12-02T11:58:00.000-08:002010-12-02T12:00:12.670-08:00

President Barack Obama says he is "optimistic" that Democrats and Republicans will come to agreements on several issues in the coming weeks. He then admitted that he does not know what "optimistic" means.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-24278581112449515292010-12-02T11:57:00.001-08:002010-12-02T11:58:53.030-08:00

Sen. John McCain on Thursday snubbed a military study on gays as flawed and said letting gays serve openly would be dangerous in a time of war. McCain fears adding glitter to the soldiers' camouflage outfits would blow their cover.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-50039934864208228372010-12-02T11:50:00.000-08:002010-12-02T11:56:51.624-08:00

President Barack Obama says FIFA made the "wrong decision" in awarding the 2022 World Cup to Qatar over the United States. Mainly because no one can find Qatar on a map.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-25417695703266107732010-12-01T11:57:00.000-08:002010-12-01T12:04:15.949-08:00

Guinness World Records recently confirmed the exclusive Lawrenceville Prep School in central New Jersey set the record for the biggest custard pie fight with 671 students and staff members, where each participant had to have access to at least two edible pies. One hundred miles north in Newark at 671 people could not afford to eat that day.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-65041138609271848782010-11-30T14:39:00.000-08:002010-11-30T14:46:18.564-08:00

Michael Douglas, who has been battling throat cancer, will play the title part in Steven Soderbergh's "Liberace," which is set to begin shooting in May or June. Liberace battled throat problems himself after he swallowed a bad Frank.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-4057469001800181852010-11-30T14:37:00.000-08:002010-11-30T14:38:56.144-08:00

An earthquake that originated in New Jersey was felt as far away as Massachusetts. Turns out Snookie just passed out again.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-5111231874343511702010-11-29T15:54:00.000-08:002010-11-29T15:57:05.785-08:00

Comic actor Leslie Nielsen passed away in his sleep at the age of 84. His tombstone will not read 'Shirley.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-23214998369283599502010-11-29T15:48:00.000-08:002010-11-29T15:54:43.881-08:00

Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Serena Williams, and a gaggle of other celebrities whose total net worth is over $1 billion will be swearing off social media networks until their less well-to-do fans raise $1 million for Alicia Keys' AIDS charity. It was either that or pony up .0001% of their own money.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-28911815353500738682010-11-29T15:43:00.000-08:002010-11-29T15:48:03.022-08:00

Outgoing Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who steps down in January after losing an independent bid for the U.S. Senate, says he is concerned that political divisions are preventing elected officials of both parties from working together on the nation's problems. He entitled the speech, "Obvious Shit."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-77455159873769344412010-11-19T12:00:00.000-08:002010-11-19T12:04:37.390-08:00

A federal judge rejected movie star Wesley Snipes's demand for a new trial and ordered the actor to surrender to the US Bureau of Prisons to begin serving a 36-month prison sentence for tax-related crimes. He will soon learn that white men can jump you in the shower.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-6485459373251954752010-11-18T15:13:00.001-08:002010-11-18T15:15:45.738-08:00

The first former Guantanamo detainee, Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, to be tried in a civilian court was acquitted of all but one of more than 280 charges of conspiracy and murder in the 1998 terrorist bombings of the US Embassies in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. Or as reported by Fox News, Ghailani found guilty of conspiracy to destroy government buildings and property.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-19369856235292794622010-11-18T15:10:00.002-08:002010-11-18T15:13:34.313-08:00

Investigators in Colorado say the double shooting of Australian twin sisters was a suicide pact. The findings are in contrast to the original theory that the one sister shot the other and the bullet then boomeranged back to the shooter and killed her.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-3692890683458436612010-11-18T15:08:00.001-08:002010-11-18T15:10:04.925-08:00

A top general says the Pentagon needs more troops trained in African cultures and languages to better confront the increasing terror threat coming out of East Africa and improve relations with the continent. Or those foreigners can just learn American like they should.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-5830911592018829562010-11-18T15:04:00.002-08:002010-11-18T15:08:49.927-08:00

A Georgia piano importer has pleaded guilty to federal charges of illegally smuggling internationally protected elephant ivory into the U.S. The man poached the tusks after receiving an email from Nigeria informing him there were diamonds in the tusks.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-29517098030191390742010-11-17T15:33:00.003-08:002010-11-17T15:35:00.521-08:00

House Democrats elected Nancy Pelosi to remain as their leader Wednesday despite massive party losses in this month's congressional elections that prompted some lawmakers to call for new leadership."The Republicans did a similar thing with Bush in 2004 and that turned out swimmingly," said Pelosi.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-37526644440048055822010-11-17T15:31:00.001-08:002010-11-17T15:33:00.349-08:00

Federal prosecutors say a North Carolina woman submitted more than $600,000 in false Medicaid claims and used the money to buy a Bentley, a Hummer and spa services. She is now considered a front-runner for a Congressional seat in 2012.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-24273262771574869122010-11-17T15:30:00.002-08:002010-11-17T15:30:58.890-08:00

Rhode Island State Police say 15 people with outstanding warrants were arrested Wednesday after arriving at the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence for what they thought was a casting call to be extras for a locally produced movie. In Providence, Dunkin Donuts Center is code for police station.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-71015757907471161802010-11-17T15:22:00.001-08:002010-11-17T15:24:39.507-08:00

Joel McHale will be hosting this year's Independent Spirit Awards. The guild felt he encompasses that indie spirit in the way he makes fun of talent-less reality show stars on a basic cable show geared towards 14-year old girls.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-35972631149900580692010-11-17T15:16:00.002-08:002010-11-17T15:21:53.368-08:00

Bruce Springsteen covered Willow Smith's 'Whip My Hair' in a skit on Jimmy Fallon's Late Night show. 1977 just hung itself.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-56245844778019032632010-11-15T13:39:00.001-08:002010-11-15T13:41:35.221-08:00

Johnson City police said a man urinated on a police cruiser during a traffic stop for drunk driving. Much better than last week when something similar happened to a cop on a horse.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-75608317450276820182010-11-15T13:36:00.001-08:002010-11-15T13:39:28.222-08:00

Jessica Simpson tells People magazine she'll be singing on a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Macy's got her cheap as part of a '2-for-1' package since she will also be the float.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-35299315842377188652010-03-16T06:57:00.001-07:002010-03-16T06:58:57.705-07:00

Ben Stiller told parade.com that laughter is the best way to a successful relationship. Which is why his wife has never seen any of his movies.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-48195980292986200852010-03-16T06:54:00.001-07:002010-03-16T06:57:11.000-07:00

In the 2001 special election that sent US Representative Stephen F. Lynch to Washington, the South Boston politician was accused of being hostile to gay rights. A decade later, the low-key lawmaker is winning praise from gay-marriage advocates in the nation’s capital. Once again proving that flip-flopping is okay, so long as you end up on your stomach.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-57313836517257588732010-03-16T06:51:00.001-07:002010-03-16T06:54:56.007-07:00

Maple syrup producers are under fire for tapping maple trees in Central Massachusetts cemeteries. Mostly from people who still use 'tapping' as a metaphor for sex.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-23418939369511086582010-03-15T08:32:00.001-07:002010-03-15T08:42:32.020-07:00

Delaware state police said someone broke into a car and stole a bridesmaid's dress just hours before a wedding on Friday at a shopping center in Pike Creek. Off the record, police are saying the bridesmaid arranged the 'robbery.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-57742074463896890712010-03-15T08:30:00.000-07:002010-03-15T08:32:05.775-07:00

Apples are getting some competition from cows in the debate over what New Hampshire's state drink should be -- cider or milk. Most residents prefer to drink cyanide.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-25519573491571408482010-03-15T08:27:00.002-07:002010-03-15T08:30:15.081-07:00

Ronan Tynan, wearing Sox gear, sang "God Bless America" in South Boston on Sunday. Tynan did modify the "God Bless America" line when he added, "except Jews."

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-44236309234256622202010-03-12T12:32:00.001-08:002010-03-12T12:33:50.897-08:00

Corey Haim will be buried in his native Canada. It came down to a coin flip between the United States and Canada, which was won by the United States when they called 'tails.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-33938179625357616362010-03-12T12:30:00.001-08:002010-03-12T12:31:52.163-08:00

Conan O'Brien announced a 30-city tour along with Andy Richter and the former 'Tonight Show' band. Some venues will hold up to 5,000 people which, based on his television ratings, would be his largest audience ever.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-2215868800864520032010-03-12T12:28:00.001-08:002010-03-12T12:29:21.993-08:00

Women who took the birth control pill beginning in the late 1960s lived longer than those never on the pill, a new study says. Mainly because they did not have kids sucking away their will to live.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-15359158673809195532010-02-13T08:05:00.000-08:002010-02-13T08:07:14.842-08:00

State officials in Maine say witnesses who reported seeing a drowning snowmobiler on a lake were probably looking at an otter enjoying a snack. The snack? A drowning snowmobiler.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-14019744479139451592010-02-13T08:02:00.001-08:002010-02-13T08:05:42.376-08:00

Police in Georgia say a 23-year-old man grabbed a baseball bat inside of a Walmart and smashed 29 flat-screen televisions. The was was said to have just watched a 'Best of Super Bowl Commercials' TV show and was inspired by a 1984 Apple ad.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-20428317324799707482010-02-13T08:01:00.002-08:002010-02-13T08:02:21.275-08:00

A Roman Catholic priest from northeastern Pennsylvania is facing drug possession charges after police say he was caught buying cocaine in Philadelphia. In fairness to the priest it was not for him, but rather the 12-year old he was going to seduce and molest with promises of video games and drugs.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-14181985747009644242010-02-13T07:57:00.001-08:002010-02-13T08:00:49.674-08:00

Police in northwestern Pennsylvania suspect a scam in which people are asked to donate money to disabled firefighters was nipped in the bud when the con artist called a wrong number: that of the local fire chief. Shockingly the chief, who is in a union, was not at work.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-89954403409857278672010-02-13T07:53:00.001-08:002010-02-13T07:57:25.677-08:00

A three-legged pitbull mix that played in a game of doggie baseball has won "Best in Show" at a talent competition held by one of New York City's largest animal shelters. Next stop: Alice in Chains album cover.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-55244425728217934412010-01-28T10:46:00.001-08:002010-01-28T10:48:13.582-08:00

Police in suburban Philadelphia are trying to figure out how a woman crashed her car into her own house. The answer lies in the lead sentence; she was a woman.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-17169531368170645032010-01-28T10:44:00.000-08:002010-01-28T10:46:46.129-08:00

A Roman Catholic priest was accused of shoplifting butter and a sofa cover at a Walmart in southern Illinois. Best game of Twister ever.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-28977444120010472662009-12-29T08:26:00.001-08:002009-12-29T08:29:51.475-08:00

A woman who identified herself as Charlie Sheen's wife said in a call to police that the actor threatened her with a knife and that she feared for her life. Sheen said he was just trying to get her to watch 'Two and a Half Men.'

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-66173105195391789062009-12-29T08:23:00.002-08:002009-12-29T08:25:54.160-08:00

Authorities say they confiscated a teddy bear at a Southern California toy store that was stuffed with marijuana. The bear, Teddy Ruxpin, gave his confession when the police pulled his string.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-91978294944822534482009-12-01T10:50:00.001-08:002009-12-01T10:52:21.533-08:00

Megan Fox bought her boyfriend a car from eBay. She had been searching for 15 more minutes of fame.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-26190994382951316862009-12-01T10:46:00.000-08:002009-12-01T10:50:07.762-08:00

Alec Baldwin, citing a lack of passion, reportedly said he'd retire from acting once his contract for the hit NBC TV series "30 Rock" expires. Unless people keep paying him.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-86979561499284096272009-12-01T10:45:00.000-08:002009-12-01T10:46:52.606-08:00

President Obama will tell the American people tonight that US troops will start leaving Afghanistan "well before" his first term ends, an official said. Unfortunately, Obama thinks one term is 14 years.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-39683591336396885472009-11-24T08:24:00.001-08:002009-11-24T08:28:56.172-08:00

Pilot Chesley Sullenberger jokes that his heroic handling of a disabled jetliner brought him "rock star sex" in an interview for "NBC's People of the Year" TV special. And when Sully says 'rock star,' he means Adam Lambert.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-29888903385365243432009-11-24T08:22:00.000-08:002009-11-24T08:24:36.525-08:00

The mother of a 13-year-old boy with Asperger's syndrome who was missing in New York City for 11 days says her son spent the entire time in the subway system. He now plays bass in a Ramones cover band.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35449954.post-19775841554622577922009-11-24T08:19:00.001-08:002009-11-24T08:22:20.711-08:00

A western Pennsylvania woman has been ordered to stand trial on charges she passed a drug-filled balloon to a state prison inmate while kissing him. They also found a bag of heroin in the inmate's urethra.

Doug Chagnonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07675645880185480419noreply@blogger.com0