Courtney Love and Drugs

Courtney Love has vehemently denied claims she introduced Jack Osbourne to prescription drugs. "My drugs are for me and my daughter," said Love.

Bradys vs. Beckhams

Gisele Bundchen, who is dating American football quarterback Tom Brady, insists she and Brady are nothing like the Victoria Beckham and her soccer star husband David because they separate their private life from their careers. And Brady can count to 10.

Tom Brady Likes Sammy Morris

Quarterback Tom Brady called Sammy Morris "powerful and explosive" today while talking about the backup running back's performance. "Much like my sperm," added Brady.

J-Lo Pregnant

Jennifer Lopez is pregnant, according to reports. And untalented, according to everyone.

Michael Jackson's Hair

Michael Jackson's hair reportedly takes three hours to style. Half of that is shaving the goat.

Guliani in England

Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani met with Britain's prime minister Wednesday and vowed the U.S. would take any action necessary to keep Iran from becoming a nuclear power. This should help Guliani secure the crucial London vote.

Cheney No Likey Greenspan

Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday disputed former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan's portrayal of the Bush administration's economic policies as fiscally reckless. Cheney demanded that Greenspan drop the word 'fiscally' from his comment.

James Blunt Loves Groupies

James Blunt admits he has an eye for the ladies and is happy to use his pop star status to bed as many beauties as possible while on the road. Unfortunately for Blunt, all his fans are gay men.

Oprah Winfrey Cares

Oprah Winfrey has four beloved pet pooches and has already set up a $30 million trust fund to take care of them should anything happen to her. Yup, she cares about poor people.

Sausage Fight

Some Lea County inmates set fires and broke toilets and windows after being told they would be allowed only one sausage at dinner. All this was done was done to avoid the smell after evacuating the sausages.

McDonald's Shooting

A 17-year-old boy accidentally shot himself in the leg while standing in line at a McDonald's restaurant and now he faces an illegal weapons charge. He was aiming for his stomach.

Deer Attack

A woman studying wetlands for an engineering firm was gored by a deer at a hunting preserve. The good news is that she now has enough venison to eat for a month.

Shaheen for Senate

Former NH Gov. Jeanne Shaheen will announce Friday that she will run for the U.S. Senate, a source familiar with her plans said. Her first move is to make sure people do not confuse her with Cindy Sheehan

Sharon hates Courtney Love

Sharon Osbourne hates Courtney Love because she allegedly gave her son Jack prescription drugs when he was just 15. For that reason and the Hole albums that Kurt Cobain did not write.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Shia LeBeouf let slip the name of the fourth 'Indiana Jones' movie at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. 'Let slip' is code for 'told to say.'

Burger King Fight

A man who tried to run over a Burger King worker while ordering breakfast had to settle for jail food instead. The man was reportedly 'ecstatic.'

The Patriots are Cheaters

San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman expressed little surprise at the allegations that the New England Patriots used an illegal camerman to steal opposing team's signals. "I don't look at it as the right thing to do," said Merriman. He then injected steroids.

Buzz Aldrin Speaks

Buzz Aldrin said a former astronaut charged with attempted kidnapping should be "admired" for allegedly avoiding stops when she traveled cross-country to confront a romantic rival, according to a published report. He then crapped his pants and talked about the time he arm-wrestled a lizard.

J-Lo-aoke

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony love singing karaoke together. The singer-and-actress admits she and her husband love belting out their favourite hits when they are at home enjoying family time with Marc's children. Call child services.

No Movies for Christian Bale

Christian Bale said he enjoys acting, but isn't interested in watching movies. Especially movies starring Christian Bale.