Nacho Libre: Thief

Police are looking for a man they say robbed a Genesee County convenience store wearing a wrestling mask like one seen in the Jack Black comedy "Nacho Libre." Mostly to ask him how he could possibly have liked 'Nacho Libre.'

Donating Hawaiian Shirts

Anyone can donate money to their favorite college. John McIntire turned over something of greater personal value: his collection of 700 Hawaiian shirts. Sight unseen, the over/under on McIntire's weight is set at 275 lbs.

Recycling in Las Vegas

A Las Vegas tour company is using leftover oil from restaurants to fuel a fleet of vans, showing that recycling can work even in a city known for excess. Soon the lights will run on saline and silicon.

Christmas Tree in Boston

A white spruce completed its 750-mile trip from Nova Scotia today and arrived at Boston Common, where the towering evergreen will serve as the city's official Christmas tree. It doubles as a toilet for the city's homeless.

Brad and Angelina Go to the Movies

Angelina Jolie brought her boyfriend, Brad Pitt, to the British premiere of her movie "Beowulf," but he let her have the limelight. "Trust me, the less I'm associated with that movie, the better," added Pitt, who then made whistling and explosion sounds.

White House E-Mails

A federal judge ordered the White House to preserve copies of all its e-mails, a move that Bush administration lawyers had argued strongly against. The administration was uncomfortable with the potential of someone spying on their emails.

Augustus Hawkins Dead

Augustus Hawkins, who was California's first black congressman and helped form the Congressional Black Caucus, has died. He was 100. He died waiting for a woman to ask him to dance.

Hampton Beach Ballroom Hates Wheelchairs

The Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom, a popular New Hampshire concert venue has settled a lawsuit over access for people with disabilities. Apparently, New Hampshire folk in wheelchairs love Eddie Money.

Pig Out

A semitractor tanker hauling about 6,000 gallons of liquefied hog manure tipped over, spilling half of the waste along an eastern Indiana highway, police said. Indiana has never smelled so good.

Manny Fernandez Not Kneeded

Boston Bruins goalie Manny Fernandez (knee strain) was today placed on IR. It is considered the top move in the brief career of GM Peter Chiarelli.

Boston Gangsters

Eleven alleged gang members described as "impact players" in Boston's most violent street wars have been taken into custody on drug and firearm charges in the last 10 days, law enforcement officials said today at a press conference. It was dubbed, 'Operation: Drive Down Blue Hill Ave.'

Rebecca De Mornay Arrested

Rebecca De Mornay has been arrested for investigation of drunken driving, a magazine reported Tuesday. It is tough to think of her being in her car after seeing her on a train.

Meatloaf Cancels Tour

Meat Loaf has canceled a European tour after developing a cyst on his vocal cords. Europe gets all the breaks.

Helping Amtrak

Perennially cash-strapped Amtrak has found a new way to generate revenue -- by turning an entire train into a moving billboard. Next step: Reading 'Atlas Shrugged.'

Discovery Lands

Discovery and its crew landed on Earth after a 15-day space station build and repair mission that was among the most challenging -- and heroic -- in shuttle history. I'm sorry, what happened?

Katie Holmes' Marathon Run

Katie Holmes was among the tens of thousands of runners participating in Sunday's New York City Marathon, finishing the race in 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds. Apparently she crawled the first 25 miles.

Ashley Judd Not a Fan of AIDS

Ashley Judd says education and prevention is the best way to combat AIDS and HIV, which disproportionately affect women and girls and prey upon the vulnerable and less fortunate. Yes, not getting AIDS is the best way to combat AIDS.

Santana Divorce

Deborah Santana, who described her guitarist husband as being unfaithful in her memoir, filed for divorce in Marin County Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences. She might want to cite the book as well.

No Sleep for Porkers

Researchers have found that every additional hour per night a third-grader spends sleeping reduces the child's chances of being obese in sixth grade by 40 percent. But how can the kid sleep after eating all that candy and playing Halo 3?

Daniel Craig is No Lesbian

Daniel Craig has vowed to never have plastic surgery - because he doesn't want to look "like a lesbian". He added, "I will, however, eat tons of pu**y."

Collecting Rubbers

Victoria Beckham has revealed her son Brooklyn confused his new teacher by telling him he collected rubbers. It was confusing, because they were all used.

Obama Mad at Broad

Democrat Barack Obama accused rival Hillary Clinton on Friday of hiding behind her gender after she was pummeled in a debate with six male candidates. He added, "As a black man, I find this disgusting."

Selling Breast Milk

A woman who doesn't want her breast milk to go to waste has taken out a newspaper ad in hopes of selling it. Martha Heller, 22, of Tiffin, took out the ad in The Gazette, offering 100 ounces of her breast milk for $200 or the best offer. Oddly, the ad was in 'back section' of the free, arsty newspaper.

Shooting Your Neighbor

A Malaysian villager who was aiming to shoot wild monkeys encroaching on his garden shot his neighbor instead, police said Friday. The neighbor suffered slight injuries. The villages was elected Vice President.

Haunting Aniston

Jennifer Aniston has been staying at a haunted hotel while shooting her new film. It is haunted by an overrated actress trying to steal her husband.

Boobie Blow

Britney Spears allegedly allowed a stranger to snort cocaine off her chest during a wild night of partying. Rookie. A pro has it done off her ass.

Shooting Arrows

An insurance broker who said he was playing with his bow to celebrate his birthday pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges related to shooting an arrow through a Manhattan neighbor's glass terrace door. No word if he was listening to 'Cat Scratch Fever.'

Torturing Mukasey

President Bush said attorney general nominee Michael Mukasey shouldn't be expected to answer questions about interrogation techniques on which he hasn't been briefed. A little torture, though, will get him to open up.