Underwear Dancing

An Australian state government minister was forced to quit following reports that he danced in his underwear at a parliamentary office party, the state premier said Thursday. He is now the senior Senator from Massachusetts.

A fluffy little dog named Lexi is being called a hero for helping to rescue an 85-year-old neighbor who collapsed in his Brooklyn apartment. Not so happy was the landlord, who hoped to remove the $450-a-month paying renter, and replace him with a $1900-a-month yuppy.

Cleaning the John

A businessman said he was so frustrated with the condition of a public bathroom in the western Michigan tourist town of Saugatuck that he cleaned it himself, and billed the city $156 for his work. Must have taken him 20 hours.

Sausage Attack

A man suspected of breaking into the home of two California farmworkers, rubbing spices into the face of one man and smacking another with an 8-inch sausage has been set free. Stunningly, none of that sentence was a euphemism.