No Kenyan Nookie

Thousands of Kenyan women vowed Wednesday to begin a weeklong sex strike to try to protest their country's bickering leadership, which they say threatens to revive the bloody chaos that convulsed the African country last year. The Kenyan men took a long look at their wives then starting launching grenades.

Smelly Wedding

Two central Illinois volunteers have tied the knot in the place they first met: a homeless shelter. They honeymooned in a dumpster behind the YMCA.

I Can't Control My Wife

A Polk County deputy has turned in his badge after his wife and mother-in-law took his patrol car out for a joyride. He also handed over his balls.

The Irreplacable Paula

Paula Abdul said her contract is up this season on "American Idol," and that no one can ever replace her. Except anyone with a Vicodin addiction.

Kids... I Got Weed

A registered sex offender has been charged with kidnapping and aggravated sexual assault after allegedly providing alcohol and marijuana to two teenage girls and then molesting one of them. He plans to plead no contest, move to France, and direct a re-make of 'The Pianist.'